We’ve got a few new things at FrightProps. Our haunted house prop fabricators, Max and Grant, acquired a new kitten which they have named “Hashtag” – although they insist its name is just “#”. Our famous shop dog, Kensey, received a custom made giant piece of toast to wear. Meanwhile, our Creative Director, Scott, did what he always does and ordered something super gross in a jar off the internet. I also saw some small plaques in his office, leading me to believe he may be making more morbid taxidermy soon.
However, the most exciting of all is the brand new addition to the FrightProps fleet of vehicles – bringing the grand total to a whopping TWO! Yes, that’s right – the rumors are true: FrightProps has purchased a hearse to accompany our pick-up truck.
Using the magic of a mysterious online auction service known as “Ebay”, our frightful leader, Doug, purchased a 1971 Superior Funeral Coach from a guy in Missouri. The seller was sad to see it go — and for good reason. As far as we can tell, it may need a new muffler, but aside from that, this heinous beast runs like a champ!
And yes, that’s right – this hearse came with a USED COFFIN as well. Evidently this coffin was used as a vessel to carry bodies when people couldn’t afford their own. Yikes.
So the question is, what do we do with such a magnificent creation? Ideally, we’d drive it around and haunt the whole country. Maybe we’ll deck it out in Halloween decorations and give it some sort of custom paint job with a zombie tearing out of the back. We could use some of our pneumatics to add some reaching arms tearing out of the windows or put in a motor to make the coffin lid open and close.
Or we could just throw on some creepy Halloween costumes and go through the Taco Bell drive through for some laughs. Either way, whatever we come up with, you can rest assured that we’ll be documenting all of the horror on this here haunted house blog.
While you await our hellish mobile creation, check out these ten other ridiculous hearses that we’ve fallen in love with.
I can’t think of a better way to be prepared for our impending doom than riding around in a winged hearse with what looks to be machine guns mounted on the front. Although that dude looks a little too serious to be your only pal in the post-apocalyptic world.
…except maybe driving around a hearse that doubles as a monster truck.
Even though we’re known for our being the crazy guys who are way too into scaring people and haunted houses, even we have respect for some things.
In my research about the motorcycle sidecar hearse, I found that there’s actually a few places in the United States and a place in England that specialize in motorcycle hearse funerals. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense – if you lived your life adoring motorcycles, why would you want to be taken away in anything but one?
For our non-motorized, eco-friendly friends out there. Plus, look at how cool this dude is — check out that lean. Lookin’ good, usher of the undead.
A hybrid of the eco-friendly and the motorized hearse. GET IT? A HYBRID? Oh man, we’re just the funniest guys in the haunted house business, aren’t we?
4. Tony’s Sexy Barbershop Hearse
I’m not sure I understand it, but one thing I do know is that it’s PURE GENIUS. Proof that a hearse is a perfect marketing opportunity regardless of your line of work.
Want to know why there’s a tent on top of this dusty hearse with European license plates? Yeah, I’ll bet you do. Long story short – there’s a huge rally trip organized where you drive from Budapest, Hungary, through Europe and down into Morocco, finishing eventually in Bamako, Mali. I’ve been trying to find a more detailed way to summarize what these three guys were doing, but I’ll refer you to their blog here. Also, if I’m not mistaken, these three brave whackos drove this hearse and camped the entire time while wearing suits and top hats. WHAT.
Someone asked me who my celebrity crush was yesterday. As I don’t care much about celebrities, I couldn’t come up with an answer. However, I’m pretty sure if she’s considered a celebrity, it’s the owner of this hearse. Evidently she has a website for this thing, too.
Whether it moves or not, this is probably the scariest vehicle you could ever catch a glimpse of sitting in your mysterious neighbor’s backyard. Just imagine what sort of horrible spiders and rotting animals await you inside.
So there you have it, kids. Another chapter begins in the book of one of the strangest companies on the planet – FrightProps. Know of any other hearses that will make us vomit blood and slime in excitement? Leave us a comment!