You might find it hard to believe, but there are people out there who loathe Halloween and wish they could banish it from our calendars.
Back in the south, I had co-workers that would refuse to go outside, citing October 31st as being the day that the devil was most active. And sure enough, ever year, you always run into someone out in your daily errands that wants to talk your ear off about how awful it is that people celebrate ghosts and witchcraft. To people like us, Halloween haters are people we just can’t understand – they’re worse than those families that give out toothbrushes or raisins to trick or treaters. They’re scarier than Frankenstein’s Monster and The Babadook combined!
Lucky for them, they have boring holidays the rest of the entire year to torment people like us with. Not to say that we hate any holiday that isn’t Halloween (we do), but let’s all agree: they’re all pretty uncreative and tiring when you compare them to our favorite holiday. And yeah, we all get to gorge ourselves on some decent food, but is it worth that constant bombardment of Christmas songs and putting up with cashiers at the grocery store wearing elf ears?
Thankfully, we’re not completely powerless in the struggle to stay entertained every December. While we may have pulled out all the stops for Halloween, we’re always still in the mood to freak people out, and that doesn’t have to stop just because all of the candy for sale is suddenly covered in red and green packaging. So, to help our community of haunters, horror fans, and Halloween nuts, we put together some helpful tips on how people like us can survive the holidays.
8. Lock Yourself Up With Scary Movies/Television
The easiest way to survive any difficult period in your life: melting into the couch in front of the TV as you wait for the storm of cheer to pass. Our personal picks of the last couple of years: Cabin In The Woods, The Evil Dead (remake), Antichrist, Rare Exports, and Dead Snow – just to name a few. Oh, and make sure you have a stockpile of canned goods or those dehydrated survival meal kits – otherwise, put the money in the mailbox and have the delivery driver leave your pizza outside. After all, lukewarm pizza is better than having a conversation with someone wearing a goofy hat with sleigh-bells on it.
7. Holiday Haunts
This is one of the better trends concocted by the devious minds that are devoted to this industry. It looks like holiday haunted houses are here to stay – and we couldn’t be more stoked for evil elves, dirty Santas, and dead reindeer. Check out this year’s list of holiday frights!
6. Prank Everyone, All The Time
One of the best things you can do at a crowded holiday party where you don’t feel like socializing is to create your own fun. Even if it’s something as simple as jumping out from behind corners, no one expects to be scared around this time of year. Hide a bloody hand prop in a cabinet or in the refrigerator. Put some fake cockroaches in the ice cube tray or near the cheese platter. Shove a severed head into the oven before Grandma starts her famous apple crisp! Just remember, as a Halloween lover, you’re representing us all – so try and make it something startling.
5. Krampus Fest
While there’s a pretty extensive backstory of Krampus, essentially he’s some sort of horned Christmas devil that captures and tortures children. The tale is told throughout numerous European countries like Austria, Czech Republic, Slovenia, and Croatia. The varied celebrations of this terrible demon range from schnapps-fueled, Krampus-costumed mayhem to simply displaying golden twigs around the house. Here in America, the tale of Krampus is beginning to gain some momentum. Both Philadelphia (http://krampuslaufphiladelphia.com/) and Los Angeles (http://www.krampusfest.com/) host Krampus festivals, but we expect more to pop up as the Halloween spirit starts to take over the entire world.
4. Yard Displays
Look, just because you put your fake skeletons in the garage and moved your cauldron creep into storage doesn’t mean they have to stay there. One of the greatest moves that any home haunter can pull involves setting your yard haunt up and decorating it in a holiday theme. Sure, you can buy some inflatable reindeer and deck out your yard with lights, or you can do what we’d do – set up your yard exactly the same as you would on Halloween, only stick a bunch of Santa hats on each one of your props.
3. Hack Some Christmas Props
Working alongside #4 on our list, Christmas is an excellent time to take advantage of your inner tinkerer. You can find plenty of inexpensive Christmas toys and props and, sure enough, nearly all of them can be re-outfitted or customized to be way cooler. From there, take the skills you’ve learned, roll up your bloodstained sleeves, and get to work on Halloween 2015.
2. Scary Christmas Trees
Alright, so if you’ve made it this far, then you probably understand the point of this list: completely deny the holidays exist by putting a morbid and macabre twist on everything you do throughout the season. Hang fake bats, bones, severed heads – you name it. If it’s disturbing, find a way to hang it on your tree. Should you prefer a more subtle approach, with a little bit of thought, you can probably figure out a way using one of our speakers, motors, step mats or motion triggers with a prop controller to create an unforgettably evil tree that talks and moves. It’ll keep the cats off the tree and make Santa soil his red velvet sweatpants!
1. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
The all-time cure for the winter blues, no matter what your interests are. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is the ultimate in humor and holiday mayhem – a bonafide classic that refuses to compromise the laughs in order to put in some of that annoying holiday cheer. Plus, there’s that killer theme song:
Got any suggestions of your own? Leave us a comment! And keep on haunting in the free world – regardless of how many holiday nerds decide to show up and sing carols on your doorstep!